Wire Your Brain for Consensus
Back in hunter-gatherer days, our brains evolved what scientists call a “negativity bias.” We are wired to be on the lookout for threats. This wiring can work against us when we are seeking consensus. The good news is that we can change this wiring to serve us better in modern life. Negativity bias makes us more willing to believe something bad about an unfamiliar person than to believe...
Read MoreAssessing Your Communications
You have an important conversation at work, and that evening, you think of the “perfect” thing you could have said, but didn’t. We’ve all experienced those “Why didn’t I say this” and “Why did I say that” moments many times. Those of us with perfectionistic temperaments do this even more than others. What should we do when our minds take such a turn? In the March...
Read MoreDefense Against the Dark Parts of Persuasion: Authority
Years ago, many of us read about experiments in which research volunteers complied with with the instructions of a lab-coded, clipboard-toting researcher to deliver increasing electrical shocks to a “test subject” whenever that subject answered a question incorrectly. In reality, the volunteers who flipped the switches to deliver the shocks were the true test subjects. Unknown to them, the...
Read MoreConsensus Resolution of the Month, February 2012
A daily relaxation exercise promotes successful consensus building, and offers many bonuses for your mental, emotional and physical health. You can do this exercise in just a few minutes, and this small investment in time can pay off in greater productivity and efficiency for hours to come. If you’ve read Bridges to Consensus, you know that effective consensus building requires...
Read MoreDefense Against the Dark Arts of Persuasion, II
In the first post in this series, we looked at the ways that marketers, ideologues, and other “compliance professionals” can manipulate people with the rule of reciprocity. This rule, hardwired into our brains, urges us to accept any gift or favor another person may offer, then also urges us to reciprocate in kind. (In case you missed that earlier post, you’ll find it helpful to read it...
Read MoreDefense Against the Dark Arts of Persuasion, I
I bought Influence—the Psychology of Persuasion by Dr. Robert B. Cialdini thinking this book would provide additional fodder for my interpersonal persuasion toolkit. Instead, I got a valuable warning about how the people Cialdini calls “compliance professionals” manipulate us without our awareness. That was some years ago, and it led to my reading other authors in this field, but not...
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