Defense Against the Dark Arts of Persuasion: Alarmism
Remember the story of Henny Penny? She was scratching in the barnyard when something hit her on the head. Henny Penny thought the sky was falling and set off for the royal palace to report the crisis. As she hurried along, telling everyone she met, “The sky is falling,” she gathered followers—Cocky Locky, Ducky Lucky, Goosey Loosey and Turkey Lurkey. With each new addition to the entourage,...
Read MoreApril Resolution of the Month: Practice Paraphrasing
What do you do when someone just won’t listen? He says something you disagree with, and no matter how you try to explain another point of view, he keeps reiterating his original idea as if he didn’t even hear what you said. In these cases, paraphrasing his words can work magic. To paraphrase, simply restate the other person’s point in different words, then, ask if you got it right. People...
Read MoreConsensus Success in a Volunteer Group
I love hearing my clients’ and readers’ success stories, especially when they involve new contexts for application of their consensus, persuasion and communication skills. This week, Gracie Killough of Austin, Texas wrote to me, “While reading Bridges to Consensus, I volunteered to organize a project with my quilt bee, fifteen professional, talented, and strongly-opinionated...
Read MoreDefense Against the Dark Arts of Persuasion: Relative Sanity
Suppose you go shopping at Southside Mall and see a shirt you like for $55. A passerby tells you, “I saw that same shirt at Northside Mall for “$43.” Northside Mall is a twenty-minute drive from your current location. Would you make the trip to save the $12? If you would, then according to Dr. Dan Ariely, you are like most of us. You assess the value of one item by comparing it to whatever...
Read MoreWin-Win Waiters
I love finding new examples of the interested-oriented approach to dealing with others, examples that show how we can get more of what we need or want from others when we address their interests along with our own. A day or so ago, I read an article about new trends in waiter training. The one-size-fits-all “Hi, my name is John, and I’ll be your waiter tonight” or autopilot “May I...
Read MoreCommunication Resolution of the Month, March 2012
I hope you have all enjoyed your February resolution by a practicing a relaxation exercise at least once a day. For March, we build on the calm and confidence boosting effects of relaxation by adding a practice of gratitude. At least once a day, preferably early in the morning, take three deep relaxing breaths and express your gratitude for some of the good things in your life. I like to look out...
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